Issue 8

Big fire. No injuries reported. So why is it in paragraph 4?

Practical PIO analyzes real social media posts to help you improve your communications. All identifying details are blurred or removed because our goal is growth, not criticism.

You’re writing about a challenging fire response, and you want your community to understand what your crews faced. This release does a solid job explaining the operational challenges—but there’s an opportunity to make it even stronger by focusing on what matters most to your readers.

Full text

Here’s the full text so you can follow along (or in case the image doesn’t load):

✅ What works well

✅ The operational challenges are surfaced. The post describes the conditions crews faced—strong winds, defensive operations, roof collapse—which helps the community understand why this response took significant time and resources.

✅ The post acknowledges the investigation. Mentioning that arson investigators are working to determine the cause shows transparency and heads off “what started it?” questions.

✅ The timeline is clear. Arrival time (~6:30 a.m.) and when the fire was controlled (~8 a.m.) give readers a sense of the incident’s scope.

✅ The post recognizes crew effort. The closing line acknowledges the difficult conditions (cold temperatures, wind-driven fire) and thanks crews—appropriate recognition without being overly internal.

🛠️ What could be improved

Big picture

🛠️ Lead with the outcome, especially when it’s good news. The most important information—no injuries—is in paragraph four. Your community’s first question is “Is everyone okay?” Answer that immediately, then explain the operational challenges. Starting with “No one was injured in a structure fire this morning at

🛠️ Match your images to your message. The post describes a challenging, wind-driven fire, but the images show firefighters standing around, which is a risk and reality of defensive fires. To reinforce your narrative, capture action moments (spraying water, moving hose, refilling air packs) or the conditions themselves (visible flames, collapsed roof, wind effects). When images and text tell different stories, readers wonder how serious the incident really was.

🛠️ Answer questions your readers will have. This was a pub. Was it open at 6:30 a.m.? Were employees or patrons inside? The building’s use and whether people were present affects how the community understands the incident. If it was unoccupied (likely at that hour), saying so gives reassuring context to unspoken questions.

🛠️ Consider your audience for operational detail. “Battle this fire defensively for the majority of the incident” is meaningful to firefighters but might confuse civilians. A quick translation—“fight the fire from outside”—makes it accessible to everyone.

Nitty gritty

🛠️ Use plain language for fire behavior. “Heavy fire coming from the structure” is borderline jargon. “Large flames” or “fire coming from multiple areas of the building” is clearer for general readers.

🛠️ Be specific with times. The release uses “around” with times. If you know it was 6:28 a.m., use that and write it in AP Style. If you genuinely don’t have exact times, approximate times is fine, but precision is better when you have it. (Readers will wonder why you’re being imprecise.)

🛠️ Complete your sentences with proper punctuation. The final sentence before the hashtags is missing a period. Always proofread before posting.

🛠️ Reconsider hashtags. We’ve covered this before. Hashtags are on the way out—especially on Facebook.

Practical PIO version

Here’s a version that leads with the outcome and keeps operational detail accessible:

Teaching note: Notice how leading with “No one was injured” immediately answers your community’s biggest question. The operational challenges (wind, defensive operations, roof collapse) still get explained—they just come after you’ve given readers the reassurance they need. You can acknowledge great work by your crews without making the entire post about internal recognition.

Do you struggle with what to put first in your releases? Reply and let me know what trips you up. I read every email.

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